I don't know what to do. Live makes decisions. If I had decided something. Usually I didn't do with I deciided.

For example, I told myself many times to not touch the computer. But I didn't. I'm lost of control. As if I am hungry. Don't you know that how serious it happened.

Oh, I forgot I didn't goto the study room now. It always get crowded and because of winter. But weekly with my friend. I'm afraid of alone, you know. However study alone in the study room is more effective for me cause of the hard-circumstances. If I am ever get seats easily. I would go alone. If can wake up early. It will noto be a problem.

I discovered that I'm feared for somebody's deial. Like my brother. And I'm going to find out why this happened.

First, when some statement like "People do" or "Human da". I use "I do" instead. And this is the fact of afraiding people's denial. because there is noway to disagree with. Second, I'm less willing to say my opinnion. Do less, lose less. So I may afraid to lose.

But why? Why I afraid to lose? Isn't that people do to debate. To get chance to win. So, this isn't the problem of win or lose. It's about recognization. The recognization of others.

Then perhaps I didn't like my brother. He do like debate, talking, to win. But I don't. Much worser, I wishes others recognization. I "care" about others opinnion.

Isn't that why I felt extremely frightened when I going to exam?

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