Today I planned to go to the study room. But I'm late to sleep yesterday. Thus I was late. I felt sorry for my friend.

Instead, I went wasted of time for three hours to walking around meaninglessly with the others. And he regenerate my motive to go to the study room. Just a while ...

My friend, he who has already made his choice of what he want to live for.is living colourful. Me who still lost in the undetermined future, is living grey. I'm envious, and dispirited. But harmless, but useless.

So I've two choice. Or strive, or wait. Strive for my late or wait for my fate. Late for wake and fate for the last day. What I'm now, stagger around both way. The choice is apparently seen. But my "ego", seemed like to go with the other. Then the fight begin in my brain, which much like an angel and a devil. But the angel lose in two way. When fightiing, when lose. Because fighting needs time. When ever the fight go longer, the time is shortened. So thatt's the way to lose.

I think I'd spent toom much time to writing diaries. To think about what to write.

But what I suppose to do? How? I couldn't step for exam's sake. Maybe I should think what I should write whenever I'm at rest.

Or busy.

¹