I've trouble. I slept lately, wake lately. I changed my time badly. Ate badly. Worked badly.

I couldn't sleep it night but felt sleepy at day. I don't know what to do. Who knows what could I do?

Remembered the resulting day. I'd try to ask to stay in school to repeat. A person who got 10 marks. I got 12. She's in but I'm out. Why? I think I'm not the one they concerned. Obviously they think I could take care myself. It's true. All F.5. students could take care themselves.

I thought I was unique, a tiny hope, that they'll take care about me. But apparently I'm not. I'm just a kid who is completely transparent. As most of people. But I'm a bit self-estimated and selfish.

No one cared what'll I felt. What I thought was affected no one. "What is life? What dose life mean? But why one?" I never thought about those question in my childhood. But a bit "pitty" I've no center of myself. I'd just following my brother all day. I think I was "happy" at that time. But in my way, now, I couldn't call it "happy" with those memories but "pitty". I had a heavy jealous mind because there is always my brother have something to play but I don't.

I really want to beat him beacuse he always stronger than me. Both strength and result. Although I couldn't beat him on strenght. But perhaps I could in exam. At least 26 marks.

But why my life is determined by him? Why I'd trust him to study commerce? Why I'm confused? Why I was that silly? Unless, he made me know what's the world. I'd completely separated from the "bad class".

Perhaps it's a fate.

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